Am I a Pacifist? And if I am a pacifist, why do I do karate?

I really wanted to hit a stranger yesterday. He had narrowly missed hitting me in his car (so it was a near-hit; why do we call them near-misses)? What's more, I had Isabel in the pushchair at the time. We were walking behind his car as he suddenly reversed, oblivious to us. I had to yank the pushchair back pretty sharpish to avoid an accident.

As I walked on, I swiftly concluded that post-traumatic stress was not in order. I also considered, not for the first time this week, how easy it is to put your small child in danger without even realising it. And then my thoughts turned to my unsavoury and rather alarming desire to approach the driver of the vehicle, yank his rear-view mirror from the car with a cry of "you clearly don't use it so you won't miss it will you?!" and smack him one in the face (I was having a bad day, by the way).

As I wandered further down the road to home, I envisaged the ensuing court case:

Prosecuting Barrister: "Mrs D'Avanzo," (for that's certainly how they'd address me) "would you tell the jury what you do in your spare time?"
Me: "Well, I'm a Sunday School teacher, a school governor and a member of the church outreach committee. I enjoy reading historical novels, learning Italian and caring for my small children (whom I only occasionally place in the line of reversing vehicles)"
PB: "What else, Mrs D'Avanzo"
Me (sheepishly): "I'm a black belt in karate which I practise twice a week"
PB (with relish): "No further questions, m' lud."

As a teenager, my jewellery box contained little more than a selection of CND badges. I was a paid-up member, marched at Molesworth and, to this day, I totally denounce violence and warfare. I will not watch violent movies as I find them too disturbing and I would always choose mediation over aggression. I certainly would not say boo to a goose (have you ever approached a gaggle? - terrifying. Almost as scary as a murder (or whatever they're called) of pigs). So it came as a tremendous surprise to me when, 11 years ago, I went along to a karate lesson and absolutely loved it and all it stood for (and it was not simply because I'd developed a crush on the instructor who I later ended up marrying)!

So what is karate and should it be allowed? I shall be brief (tomes have been written). Karate is essentially boring and that is why it can be allowed! Anyone who wishes to learn to fight will soon decide to look elsewhere for their tuition. During the first few weeks of training, you learn a series of blocks, punches, strikes and kicks which you then practise to perfection lesson-in, lesson-out, year-in, year-out. And perfection is rarely, if ever, achieved. Over a period of about 10 years you learn about 40 ancient sequences of moves called kata which you practise to perfection lesson-in, lesson out, week-in, week-out. Dropout rates are high. But "karate ultimately is nothing to do with punching and kicking, or striking and blocking" (to quote the very experienced karate instructor, John Van Weenen). Karate can be physically demanding (although everyone from 4 to 104 can give it a go and enjoy it), and mentally demanding, but what it really tests is stamina. (How I've managed to stick at it I do not know .... ah yes, the crush on the instructor....)! I train with a very traditional, non-competitive association and I believe that if you see one angry road-user physically attacking another, you can be certain that she has no appreciation of karate.