... that's the sound as I lead this particular horse from her stable. Foot in stirrup; grab hold of saddle (Louise'll correct me if I'm wrong in my mounting procedure); one, two, three UP - she must be 17 hands, this horse. But I've made it up. Yet again. Yeap. I'm on my high horse. (Was that paragraph beginning to sound a little odd and unsavoury...?)
This time, it's the news. It really tees me off when news reporters try to go all poetic like this (from Channel 4 News yesterday, but they all do it far too frequently - BBC's the worst offender):
There is to be a by-election in Bromley (London) following the death of their MP. It's a Tory safe seat. Cameron hopes that one of his "A-listers" ("modern Conservatives") will win the seat. But Bromley is likely to elect more of a right wing traditionalist. News Reporter: "So, are the traditional Tory's here in Bromley safe as houses" (camera shows the handle and lock of a front door and pans out to show a house), "or is it not all wrapped up yet?" (camera shows a large box being wrapped up with ribbon)
Here's another recent example: a news report on problems associated with rural living ended with:
"... or is it all too woolly?" (camera panned from close up to long shot of a sheep).
I hate it when they do that. It's really contrived and it's just so patronising to the viewer. They always pause for a micro second before they lavish the visual punn. It REALLY ... gets my goat (camera shows goat chewing grass).
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
6 comments:
I can't do the news, I come over all 'Big Brother', (NOT Channel 4, the real one), I'm convinced they only tell us what they want us to believe, it's all lies!
Having worked for a newspaper, I have absolutely no doubt about this. It's either lies or trashing peoples' personal lives, which I despise.
Oh dear, I'm unintentionally rhyming, I'll go now.
Changed my name to Winston.
And my mounting procedure...? Is it correct?
Okay, but if you hang onto the saddle, you are likely to slide gracefully down towards the floor. Always best to grab a handful of wither. Small point, but can be quite crucial, especially if the girth is a shade slack...
You did ask!
Whither's the wither? (!)
And I've been wondering all night: ...Winston?
(Sliding gracefuly down to the floor I can just about handle - it was when my friend's horse decided that we were going to turn right, at a canter, and I decided that we were going to turn left that was a little trickier to take - be both stuck to our guns. Horse was fine with this. I was less so!
The wither is the boney 'lump' in front of the saddle, above the shoulder.
Winston? Winston Smith. Big Brother. I thought EVERYBODY our era did George Orwell's 1984! After all, it was 1984 that we took our O' levels.
I don't watch the news.. shame on me. I just read what interests me online when I have those moments of freedom.
I can totally sympathize with your suffering on those puns.. eeeuuuuwwww.
Post a Comment