Sin and Sunday School

As you will know if you've ploughed your way through previous posts in this blog, I am new to the wonderful world of Sunday School teaching. I lead the group one week in six - nothing too arduous - and, in fact, rather enjoyable. I've not been able to take on these light duties, however, without much soul-searching and to help me along with this, the vicar has started to host monthly meetings where I and other leaders can voice questions: anything to do with Sunday School (which I'd prefer to call Sunday Group, but I've not told them that yet.... some of them may in fact read that here for the first time, which will allow them time to arm themselves against that bit of "political correctness gone mad" (except please don't let's use that phrase, as it'll only make me worse).

At the most recent meeting, I voiced my concerns about the issue of confessional prayers. These are prayers that, for children, might begin with "Let us now call to mind all of the things that we have done wrong". I do not say these prayers with my children, nor do I relate any of "what they do wrong" to God, Jesus, Christian beliefs, church or morality. I have a four year old and, oh, I "tell him off", yes! I do a lot of that. But I try to stick to three rules:

1) If he is doing something to jeopardise the health and safety of himself or others, or if he is doing something that will have a tangible effect on his or someone else's property, tell him to stop and why.
2) Keep it short.
3) Move on. Do not rake over it again at a later stage. And certainly not at prayer time.

Sometimes, my four-year-old tells lies. I tackle this, despite it falling outside of rule number 1 (I mean you didn't think for one second that I actually succeeded in adhering to these rules, did you?) I am very careful to request that he tells the truth because otherwise it confuses mummy, or it wastes a lot of time. I do not tell him that "lying is wrong". Not yet. Maybe never...

"Why so woolly and liberal?" I hear some of you cry, whilst the rest of you shout "carry on like that and your son'll end up a knife-wielding axe-murderer."

Here are my fears. There are two of them. First, if a child's appreciation of what is right and what is wrong is founded primarily upon a moral code, such as the Bible, then if they let go of that code, they may well let go of their appreciation of what is right and wrong. So, let's say a child flies the nest at the age of 18 believing that promiscuity is wrong because the bible tells them so (can't say for sure whether it does or not, I'm afraid, but many Christians oppose sex outside of marriage so there must be something about it somewhere in there). They go, let's say, to university where they question the bible; their beliefs; the moral code with which they were brought up (all very healthy), they decide to reject it (maybe for a time, maybe for ever) and they no longer see any reason for not joining the rest of those in their Hall of Residence bonking the night away till kingdom come. Far better, in my opinion, for a young adult to reject promiscuity on the grounds of the emotional turmoil that it could bring about and, of course, on the grounds of the sexual diseases that can result from it if they do not use protection or if that protection fails them.

My second fear is this. I fear that too much talk of sin and confession can bring about a sense in a child, as they grow into a young adult, that they are, in fact, a "miserable sinner" and unworthy of being loved. I fear that may have repercussions on their ability to formulate healthy and loving relationships with others. I am concerned that unless it is handled very carefully, a focus on sin and confession can leave a child with a guilt complex that may take years to unravel.

I am open to opinion on this. Am I wrongly denying my poor Sunday School attendees, one week in six, of their opportunity to receive God's forgiveness for their sins, innocent as they are? We do say the Lord's Prayer (and I have not gone so loopy as to omit the "forgive our trespasses as we forgive those" bit). My concerns come into play not at the mere mention of sin and repentence, but when one dwells on it for any length of time. And I am not certain about the age at which I believe confessional prayers should be introduced.