Oh. It's ok. It's right there. On my sleeve. Where it always is.
Over the past three weeks, I have had a number of rather demanding tasks to perform, in addition to the exceedingly demanding task of being a mummy. I had to take a very deep breath before embarking on all of this. In short, and in addition to ferrying little people to and from nursery, toddler groups, music groups, french groups and baby-gym groups, I had to run three sessions over three weeks on strategic planning for the teachers at Michael's nursery (something I knew a lot about 5 years ago in my previous life as career-woman), help organise a school fair and be Snow White at it and run two Sunday School sessions. You may say "and...?", but for me, that was stretching, and to be quite frank, I didn't want to do any of it. You see all of it could have gone totally to pot. The fair and the sessions on strategic planning were especially liable to go pear-shaped.
But week 1 went well, week 2 went well - the nursery fair was a great success and raised loads of money for the school - I'd hoped (in my wildest dreams) that we might raise £1k - we topped it by at least £300!!!!!
My final task was yesterday evening: session 3 on strategic planning at the nursery. And, to be honest, it flopped. I'd not prepared it well enough, I was de-mob happy after the fair on Saturday and I just could not carry it off. It was embarassing. But it was ok in that I was free of charge, I'd not taken up too much of their time and we've almost achieved what we set out to achieve during these sessions (I'd been over-ambitious in my goals). We can fix it (with a little help from my friend: FIONA! FEEE-OOOO-NAAAA!)
So what would you do? Put things in perspective and say "I did really well to run 2 out of 3 good sessions after all this time away from work?" Or feel totally inadequate and fret about it all evening and then go to bed to dream about having to re-sit your finals, going into the exams knowing only what you know now about your degree subject.
How many more times am I going to have that dream?
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6 comments:
Glad to hear that the fair went well :-) I hope the Snow White thing didn't cause any ructions!
As for the training - am I right in thinking that the school got many hundreds of pounds worth (at least) of training for free? And that two sessions went well and the third wasn't so good? Well, I'd say that the school came out way, way ahead on that one! And if you met pretty much all of the targets anyway (despite the final session not being up to your standard), they've very little to complain about. I mean, if they're going to get someone who's admittedly 5 years out of date at running such courses to do it, they can hardly expect a totally slick experience! Something's bound to give at some point, and if it didn't give until the final session, you've done excellently.
I'd call that schedule packed, in any case!
pax et bonum
OK - what I would do:
Fret and worry and wake up at 3 in the morning feeling sick, and feel totally useless. Then I'd tell John how miserable I felt about it all, and he would say something along the lines of what he's already said to you, and I would get really cross with him (because hey - what you really want your spouse to say is "Yes, you were rubbish"! (?!? I worry about me sometimes!))
Keep listening to your first voice that tells you you did really well - that's what you'd say to anyone else.
D'ya know, I felt really uptight about all this and just entering it all onto my blog helped a lot. And then your wonderful comments - thank you so much. I'm fine about it all now.
Anne and John: you are great, you really are. I'm being deadly serious when I say that you'd be excellent as the next "Richard and Judy" or "fern and Phil" (think of the money, think of the money!!!) Thank you for your comments - you really did make me feel better.
Suzy: Thank you so much for commenting - it's great to "meet" you and it's been a total pleasure to link to your blog - a site that is now included on my "list of favorites".
I'd say that you should sit down, and think about how you are feeling about all this. Yes, you are feeling good about achieving some awesome feats, but also you are feeling some really nasty feelings within. So then, make a list of those activities/ things that you found enjoyable, beside that list the things that you found tolerable, and beside that one list the things that make you feel negative. Now.. in the future you will know which things to which you can say "No". For example, Someone may ask you to dress up like "Cinderella" for their kid's big event, if you found that dressing up as a character was enjoyable, and you are so inclined to be helpful you can say "Yes.. I'd love to do that." However, if you found that you really disliked being "Snow White", you can say "I'm sorry.. but I do not enjoy dressing up like that. "
It's totally o.k. to say "No" to other's requests, and expectations, and to place boundaries in your life. It's the Way of mental self-defense. You are the one volunteering, then you choose those things that uplift, and encourage you. Do not lessen your health, and lose sleep because of an activity that should be a positive aspect of your life.
Supergroup7 - you make an interesting point. First time round (age 21) I chose a career that I thought would give me a ladder of promotion, lots of developmental opportunities, lots of challenges, but was not really what I enjoyed doing. Therefore I found it quite stressful at times. Doing this "strategic planning" work with Michael's nursery teachers has made me realise that I do not want to "go back there". I love teaching at Sunday School - I get great pleasure from being with and teaching the little ones. And this time round, when I choose what to do career-wise from now on, I'm going to base my selection on what I enjoy doing, not what I think I should enjoy being.
The wisdom of age!
I won't do nine to five and I despise what newspapers do to peoples' lives, I have worked with papers off and on for around eight years and I won't go back again.
Nature makes me happy, so that's the way I have to go in some capacity.
My brother has a degree in Stess Engineering and a Masters in Theology. What does he do?
He drives buses around Gloucester.
Is he happy?
Most definately, despite my parents reservations.
Do what makes you happy!
Much love xxx
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