I'm pretty sure that in George Orwell's novel '1984', Room 101 contains the one thing that most terrifies you. In Paul Merton's TV programme 'Room 101', celebrities (of the type you might hear on Desert Island Discs rather than see on 'I'm a Celebrity...') nominate 4 things that most irritate them. Paul then decides whether to consign these tings to 'Room 101" and 'banish them for ever'. So you get things like 'post office queues' and 'serving suggestions' going for a burton.
Here are my nominations: four things for Merton's Room 101. (Orwell's Room 101 would contain spiders, for me. Or, possibly, deep water. Shudder.)
(And I'm going to have to be quick here cos 'Judge John Deed's on at 9).
1) Church fetes - boring, smelly, horrible things. I try to be our of the country when ours take place - not always possible, esp. now children at school
2) Turning right in the car - there are so many parked cars round here (massive ones because it seems that if you have children you can't possibly fit them in anything other than a 8 seater tank). I rarely turn right now, for safety reasons. I only ever turn left. (Mario's just had to go out to buy petrol...)
3) 'What's in the public interest' - I find the media so intrusive and unkind
4) Feedback TV-style (whether it's Simon Cowle, Gordon Ramsey, 'The dragons'....). Such feedback from celeb to 'average person' goes along the lines of "that was ****king crap &c). It's neither acceptable, constructive nor necessary to speak like that to someone - and yet it's paraded as being the right way to 'criticise' if you 'want to get to the top'.
You will see that it is now 9pm here and I've the living room all to myself and just time to get a cuppa and before my programme starts.
Ooh, I want a fifth - BBC News correspondents. Why do they nod ferociously these days before they say anything to camera???
20 comments:
ok - so the clock's wrong on my computer!
Yup!
And I'll be back with mine after my glass of water(?!!) a little thought and a dose of Martin. Yum!
If it were to the book, mine would be spiders.
However, for Paul Merton's Room 101 it would be:
1) People who allow their dog to foul and don't pick it up and put it in the bin provided. Or take it home.
2) Groups of young people that gather in the streets, day or night. I hate feeling intimidated.
3) The letters we get home from school. The english and grammer is shocking and inexcusable.
4) The media. I don't like what they do to people's lives. They spread rumours, lies and put ridiculous ideas into peoples heads, not capable of having theirown.
There.
Tomorrow, I will have thought of something else.
x
Hello!
Orwellian nightmare:
Wasps.
Merton wish fulfilment:
1) People who drive too close to the kerb in wet weather and drench unsuspecting pedestrians. There's a special level of hell reserved for them...
2) Pupils who talk in class when I am talking...
3) The Daily Mail. I hate it with a passion I cannot possibly convey in written words.
4) "Celebrity" culture. I do not give a flying monkeys a**e what Jade Goody is doing or what Paris Hilton is wearing (or not wearing). Heat magazine and its ilk make me quiver with rage when I see them on the shelves in shops. Luckily I never read them or my head would literally explode.
Oh 9/10ths (if you don't mind being shortened) I'm with you with #1. It was very wet up in the wilds of Scotland today and I was in grave danger of a good drenching by a passing vehicle several times as I walked home from the dentist. As if I needed more torture!
Feel free to shorten, I'm happy with the whole brevity thing.
It happened to me this evening as I was trundling to the shop to get batteries for my accursedly modern wireless keyboard.
In the aftermath, I stood there dripping wet, cold and shaking my fist in incoherent rage like a cliche grumpy old man!
Although on the upside, the batteries were buy one get one free...
Round here (Tameside) if you tell the patrollers (like a police sommunity support worker but different apparently) you see someone letting their dog foul and know who they are and are prepared to go to court to give evidence if necessary, they'll prosecute them.
My book one would also be spiders.
For Mr Merton it would probably be:
1. Nasty Daily Express/Mail papers
2. My tenants who don't realise I have other things to do than just return their phone-call
3. People who don't seem to realise there is a possibility of other opinions than their own.
4. People who didn't move out of my way when I was on crutches.
5. David Coulthard.
My book one: (this is really strange I know, but it disturbs me) http://www.animusic.com/ -- the "instrument"? "character"? on the left. EEEEEW, creeps me out.
Paul Merton's:
1) Bad grammar/sentence structure in my local newspaper. I know it's a small town but you still should know how to write.
2) People making generalizations on which they have no experience to base them.
3) The silent treatment
4) Delivery truck drivers going too fast through my neighbourhood
(a bonus #5) Anyone who thinks they need a Humvee to negotiate city streets, all of those consumer Humvee models, and the blasted dealership down the road that only sells the confounded things.
Isn't it funny how we all have newspaper-related things in our Room 101!
Hi to everyone and thank you for commenting! I've read all your nominations for Room 101 and as I've read them I've been thinking "yes - that should go in; yep - that's a prime candidate for the room". All these things are enough to make your blood boil!!
I think I'm quite a grump, actually. There's so much I'd like to pile in there!
I'm guessing what a Humvee is, Jenny - is it a 4x4? (Not sure whether 4x4 translates - erm, big, high car?) If so, then I agree totally and utterly. Ban the things, I say. Ban them!! They should definitely go into Room 101 along with their drivers (I know, that's really horrid of me) and along with the Daily Mail and its readers (I know, I know).
And hi 9/10s. I just went over to you blog, but it wouldn;t let me comment because the letters I had to verify didn't appear so I couldn't verify them. But here is what I was going to say:
HI 9/10s.
Just thought I'd drop by having linked to you from my blog comments (for which thank you!).
Yours is a great blog.
I shall be back!
Good luck with the RE teaching - I hope it continues to go well (I'm thinking of starting up a 'sister' theological blog... maybe one day - if and when I'm in the mood)
thank you!
Funny old thing, Ruth, but I too had a few, "Yes, Yes and that one!" moments with these comments.
I too must be grumpy.
Maybe it's an age thing...
Another one - mobile phone tarriff sellers who don't realise that some people like to text more than they like to talk. And charge lots of money for using a mobile phone...
(Guess who's looking for a new contract?)
Sorry. The Humvee is the worst thing that the American car companies ever decided they should sell. It's a military vehicle, worse than a 4x4 even, a giant jeep with a very wide body (HMMWV: "High Mobility Multipurpose Wheeled Vehicle"), only some jerk at General Motors decided that people have more money than good sense and have started making a fleet of commercial versions that guzzle fuel as if it was infinite, stand taller than everyone else's vehicles, and go by the name "Hummer," which, I learned, was the military slang for the original vehicle inspired by um, something "naughty".......
I hate them and I hate them and I hate them and I always say that my one firebomb is going to be used on the dealership down the road. Oooh, did I start ranting again? (And they're made right here in my great state of Indiana...)
I think buying the biggest and safest vehicle a person's money can be is a smart move! That's just me though.
Practically speaking, sometimes when people have several young children, (as I do) there are very few vehicles that will allow for several car seats.
We have four kids and three car seats, and will for a while to come. If we were going to have another child, it would be four. Years ago when large families were the norm, people drove large American station wagons...and their children sat shoulder to shoulder on unbelted bench seats!
The only vehicles that will accomodate several car seats are either minivans (and only a few can accomodate several seats) or full-size SUV's.
In the opinion of many, minivans are potentially the worst made genre of vehicles manufacturers have ever designed, as far as performance-and even some as far as safety.
Honda, Mazda and Toyota have done a fairly decent job, but they are still junk compared to many SUV's. Not to mention that there are only a couple of 4WD minivans on the market, and where we live, a 4WD is a must.
I'm not trying to argue, just trying to point out that there are valid reasons why people choose large SUV's-us included. Although, I completely believe that many times men employ the biggest and meanest looking vehicle to assist their living with "short-man's syndrome".
My husband is not included in this group, however, as he drives a full-size sedan to work, slipping and sliding all the way. He can't take all the kids in his car, though. I get the beast, and I am safe and in good control in that vehicle. Two things I got for the money that are well worth the tag.
Trouble is, everyone inside the SUV is safe but anyone hit by it is much more likely to die. And they emit more CO2, contributing to the general decline of the climate to the detriment primarily and initially to the poorest people in the world.
I am one of 5 children, all born within 10 years or so. We had a peugot 507. This had room for 8 people. It wasn't perfect - partly because it quite often had my siblings in it - but we managed. I don't deny that people have valid reasons for buying SUVs but I think people don't think beyond what is best for them and their family when making that choice.
Though, to be fair, lots of people make lots of decisions about lots of things without thinking beyond themselves and their families,myself included...
As a family of four children under twelve, (two of which no longer need car seats under new regulations) we decided to be environmentally friendly and save our hard earned cash at the same time and no longer have a car. At all.
It is nice to be able to have choices and we don't all have to be the same, but it's not necessary to go to extremes, just because you can.
Local terraine, family size, values, wealth and local public services / public transport will all determine our mode of transport and choice of car. I just get peeved when I see large numbers of very big cars with very few people in them, driving around suburbia and parking at the side of roads so that you can't see to turn out at junctions!
And yes - family first; definitely. My family are number one on my list of priorities at all times and in everything that I do or don't do. And given that road traffic accidents account for a ridiculously high number of young deaths each year (each day, in fact), I take my children's safety in the car and as pedestrians very seriously.
I take the pollution of the planet seriously too though because having children has been the very best experience ever for me, and I want my children to be able to have the joy of children, and for their children to be able to have children, and for their children to be able to have children, and so on.... and I want them to enjoy a beautiful, vibrant and healthy environment / planet.
If I really had my way, there would be no private cars - just an excellent system of public transport. Hey, I think I'd ban 'planes too. If you really need to go, take a boat!
If there were no cars on the road, I'd feel safe to ride a bike - imagine how wonderful that would be!
and
5) Those packets that are just impossible to get into! I don't buy much in packets, to be fair, but when I do, you can guarantee I_have_no_idea where the scissors are, they certainly aren't where they should be!
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